The Hippie Handbook Read online

  Ariel

  Athena

  Augie

  Avery

  Azura

  B

  Blaze

  Bliss

  Blue

  Bohdim

  Brianna

  Burgundy

  Butterfly

  Buzz

  C

  Cady

  Carmen

  Casey

  Cassidy

  Celeste

  Chakra

  Charity

  Che

  Cherish

  Chloe

  Coral

  Coriander

  Coyote

  Crimson

  Crystal

  Cyress

  D

  Dancer

  Dawn

  Deja

  Destiny

  Dharma

  Doobie

  Dude

  Dusk

  Dylan

  E

  Echo

  Electra

  Ember

  Emerald

  Ethan

  Evan

  F

  Faith

  Feather

  Felicity

  Flow

  Floyd

  Free

  Freedom

  G

  Gaia

  Garcia

  Gia

  Grace

  H

  Hailey

  Hanna

  Hannah

  Harmony

  Heady

  Heart

  Holly

  Honesty

  Honey

  Hope

  J

  Jade

  Janis

  Jay

  Jerry

  Jewel

  Joplin

  Journey

  Joy

  Julia

  Justice

  K

  Karma

  Kaya

  Kelsey

  L

  Lennon

  Liberty

  Lilly

  Logan

  Lolita

  Love

  Luna

  Lylee

  Lyric

  M

  Madrah

  Mandy

  Manu

  Marley

  Maya

  Melody

  Micha

  Mirakel

  Mist

  Moon

  Moonshine

  Morning

  N

  Nico

  O

  Om

  Opal

  Orion

  P

  Paisley

  Papers

  Patches

  Patchouli

  Peace

  Peaceful

  Phoebe

  Pink

  Promise

  Prosperity

  Prudence

  Q

  Quentin

  Quincy

  Quinn

  R

  Rana

  Rayne

  Rayon

  Renee

  Revelation

  Revolution

  Rex

  River

  Rufus

  S

  Sadie

  Sapphire

  Sativa

  Scarlett

  Sebastian

  Secret

  Serena

  Serenity

  Shadow

  Shannon

  Shalom

  Shanti

  Stone

  Sugar

  Sunburst

  Sunstar

  T

  Talia

  Terra

  Timothy

  Topaz

  Trent

  Trey

  Trinity

  Tuesday

  V

  Vishnu

  W

  Welcome

  X

  Xavier

  Z

  Zachary

  Zen

  Ziggy

  Zoe

  Zooey

  Zora

  Note: this belt is purely decorative and will not hold up pants.

  How to Macramé

  Macramé is a popular hippie craft because it is very versatile and frankly pretty easy. Once you master the basics of macramé, it won’t be long before you are a macramé maniac. (Note: People do not really like to receive macramé as a gift.)

  WHAT TO MACRAMÉ

  Pot holders

  Plant hangers

  Vests

  Shawls

  Wallet chains

  Sunglass bands

  Guitar straps

  Purses

  WHAT YOU NEED

  Two 5-foot pieces of yarn (they can be the same or different colors)

  A wooden or plastic ring (about 1 inch in diameter)—this will be your anchor

  When my mother was nineteen her favorite outfit was a yellow macramé minidress. Whenever she wore it out to a party, she noticed that all the boys asked her to dance. Eventually she realized that, under the black lights, her macramé dress disappeared entirely and all that remained of her were the whites of her eyes, her teeth, and her bright white bra and underpants.

  HOW TO MAKE A BELT USING THE BASIC SQUARE KNOT

  Fold one piece of yarn exactly in half, so that the loose ends match up.

  Holding the yarn by the loop end, pull the loop through the ring 1 inch. The loop is now on one side of the ring, while the rest of the yarn is on the other.

  Holding the two ends together, guide them under the ring and through the loop. Pull tight to form a knot around the base of the loop.

  Repeat with the other piece of yarn, so that you have two knotted pieces of yarn next to each other at the base of the ring.

  The four loose ends of yarn will now be hanging side by side under the knots. Imagine that each is numbered, from the left, 1, 2, 3, and 4.

  Thread yarn 1 over yarns 2 and 3, and under yarn 4.

  Thread yarn 4 under yarns 3 and 2 and over yarn 1, through the loop you have created between yarns 1 and 2 in step f.

  Thread yarn 1 over yarns 3 and 2.

  Thread yarn 4 over yarn 1 (now on the left), under yarns 2 and 3 and over yarn 1 again (now on the right) through the loop you created between yarn 1 and 3 in step h.

  You’ve made a square knot. Pull it tight.

  Repeat steps f through j until your row of square knots is the length of the circumference of your waist, plus 1 foot.

  Thread the ends of your yarn through some heavy beads (small enough to fit through your ring) and knot off.

  Wrap the belt around your waist.

  Pull the beaded end through the ring, and let it hang. The result is a snappy macramé belt.

  How to Care for a Fern

  No hippie pad is complete without at least one fern, preferably a Boston fern (popular with hippies because of the Boston’s general hardiness).

  WHAT YOU NEED

  A basket

  Moss

  Potting soil

  A fern

  A hook screw

  A macramé plant hanger

  Line the basket with moss.

  Remove the fern from the pot it came in, gently shaking off any loose soil.

  Place the fern in the basket and fill in the space around the edges with a generous amount of fresh potting soil. Pack the soil lightly with your hands.

  Water the fern so soil is moist to the touch and leave it to drain in a sink or outdoors for 1 hour before hanging.

  Screw a hook into the ceiling about 1 foot in from a sunny window. (Be sure you screw into a beam—to find one use your fist to knock on the ceiling until you don’t hear a hollow sound.)

  Place the basket in the plant hanger.

  Hang the hanger from the hook.

  Water every 3 to 5 days, when the soil feels dry to the touch or the leaves are beginning to droop.

  Hint: Take the fern down and water it over the sink to avoid a mess.

  RAPPING WITH YOUR FERN

 
; Some hippies think that plants grow better if you talk to them. What do you say to a plant? Here are some conversation starters.

  “Your leaves look great today!”

  “You look pale. Are you getting enough sun?”

  “It’s funny, you don’t look like a fern.”

  “I love you!”

  All plants enjoy listening to music. But what sort of music is right for your plant? Test a few tunes out to see how your plant responds. Does it droop at the sound of Beethoven and perk up to the growl of Tom Waits? It’s possible that you and your plant won’t be able to agree on what music to play. Don’t let this interfere with your relationship. It’s OK to play your loud hip-hop, as long as you rub your plant’s leaves and coo at it soothingly.

  (Note: it is a known fact that almost all spider plants love Joni Mitchell.)

  How to Tie-Dye a T-Shirt

  WHAT YOU NEED

  A 100 percent cotton T-shirt

  Sodium carbonate

  Rubber bands

  Rubber or latex gloves

  Clothing dyes in colors of your choosing

  Plastic squeeze bottles (squeezable ketchup bottles work great)

  Plastic bags or plastic wrap

  * * *

  If your T-shirt is new, wash and dry it before starting.

  Pre-soak your T-shirt for 1 hour in a solution of diluted sodium carbonate (1 cup per gallon of water).

  Tie your T-shirt using one of the classic tie-dye ties (see diagram) or one of your own design, securing it with rubber bands.

  Put on the gloves.

  Mix the dyes. (Follow the directions that come with whatever dyes you choose—remember that adding water to the dye will dilute the color.)

  Put the dye solutions into the squirt bottles.

  Apply the dye to your tied T-shirt. One approach is to dye the area between rubber bands one color, then the next area between rubber bands another color. When you are done, no white should be visible. (The dye will not completely penetrate the folds, which will remain white when you unwrap the shirt.)

  From top to bottom:

  knotting

  swirl/spiral

  pleats

  sunburst

  stripes

  Wrap the T-shirt in plastic wrap or put it in a plastic bag to keep it moist. The fabric must remain wet for the dye to set, at least 2 hours, but preferably 8 to 24 hours. The colors will be richer the longer you leave it.

  Hand wash your T-shirt, first in cold water, then in warm, then in hot, until no dye runs off in the water. Don’t toss it in the washing machine with your blue Moroccan caftan until you’re sure it’s colorfast.

  OTHER THINGS YOU CAN TIE-DYE

  Tube socks

  Bedspreads

  Underwear

  Flags

  Curtains

  CLASSIC TIE-DYE TIES

  Spiral or starburst: Determine where you want the center of your spiral to be (say, the chest), and hold the T-shirt in that spot. Twist the fabric around that point, securing it at several points (perhaps six) with rubber bands. Continue twisting and securing until the entire shirt is rolled up.

  Concentric circles: Follow the instructions for the spiral, but don’t twist the fabric when applying the rubber bands.

  V pattern: Fold the T-shirt in half lengthwise. Starting at the bottom corner of the sleeve, fold the fabric in even segments back and forth accordion style. Fasten rubber bands around the fabric as you go to hold it in place.

  Stripes: Roll the fabric into a tube, and fasten rubber bands along the length.

  HOW TO MAKE PINTO PANTS

  My father loved to wear pinto pants. This style, thankfully, did not survive the 1970s. Here’s how you do it.

  Fill a bathtub with warm water.

  Add 1 cup of bleach to the water.

  Knot the legs of a pair of dark blue jeans several times.

  Place the knotted jeans in the water.

  Let them soak for 2 hours.

  Remove the jeans, untie the knots, and place the pants in the sun.

  Let dry.

  When the jeans are dry, you will notice that they now have large, unpredictably shaped pale patches where the bleach settled, giving your jeans the appearance of a pinto pony. Why would you want your jeans to look like a pinto pony?

  I don’t know.

  From left to right:

  Pinto Pony

  Pinto Pants

  How to Make a Skirt Out of a Pair of Old Jeans

  Sometimes a pair of cutoffs just won’t cut it. For those dressier occasions, try a cut-off skirt. Cutoff skirts are ideal for attending outdoor concerts, graduations, and most summer crafts festivals.

  WHAT YOU NEED

  A pair of sharp scissors

  A pair of old blue jeans

  2 square pieces of fabric, each 2 feet by 2 feet

  A pen

  A ruler

  A sewing machine

  * * *

  Using the scissors, cut the jeans horizontally about 4 inches above the knee. Discard the leg fabric. (When you have fifty of them, you can make a cape!)

  Cut along the entire inseam. You will now have a denim skirt with a triangular piece missing in the front and back. It will look very immodest.

  Lay 1 square of fabric facedown inside the skirt so that the fabric fills in the front triangle.

  From left to right:

  Front

  Back

  Back

  Use your pen to trace the two diagonal sides of the triangle on the back side of the square of fabric.

  Use a ruler to draw the bottom of the triangle so that the line is flush with the bottom of the skirt.

  Remove the fabric. Use your scissors to cut out the shape you have drawn, adding an inch all the way around the outside of the line.

  Using your sewing machine, sew the fabric in place.

  Repeat steps 4 through 8 for the back triangle.

  Hem the entire skirt. Or, if you want a more “natural” look, cut the fabric flush with the bottom edge of the skirt and call it good.

  From left to right:

  Hem

  “Natural Look”

  How to Grow an Avocado Sprout from a Seed in a Jar

  Why do hippies do this? No one knows. For a while there in 1972, it was difficult to find a hippie windowsill that did not have an avocado seed sprouting in a jar. (Some hippies credit this phenomenon with ending the war in Vietnam.)

  WHAT YOU NEED

  An avocado

  3 toothpicks

  A jar

  Peel and eat the avocado. Save the pit.

  Let the seed dry for 48 hours.

  Peel off the papery brown skin.

  Insert 3 toothpicks equidistant from each other around the middle of the seed, pushing them in far enough to feel securely lodged.

  Place the seed, pointed end up, in the jar so that the toothpicks rest on the edge of the jar’s mouth, suspending the seed.

  Add warm water to the jar so that the bottom third of the seed is submerged.

  Put the jar in a warm spot, away from direct sunlight.

  Check the seed daily, adding warm water to the jar so that the bottom third of the seed is always in water.

  When the seed begins to sprout roots, move the jar to a windowsill.

  Soon you will see a stem push up through the pit. When the stem is 3 to 4 inches high, you can plant the seed in soil.

  From top to bottom:

  Pit

  Toothpicks

  Water Level

  How to Make an Origami Crane

  WHAT YOU NEED

  A square piece of paper (a different color on each side)

  Approximately 20 hours

  It pains me to even see the word origami. As a child I spent days on end holed up in my room trying to fold tiny pieces of colored paper into so-called peace cranes. Rumor had it that if you made one thousand of these things, whatever you wished for would come true. I folded and folded until my fingers cramped and the paper w
as moist from my sweaty little hands. My complete failure at origami did not prevent origami sets from raining down on me on every possible occasion—I received at least four origami sets a year from ages six to ten. Today, origami remains a popular hippie pastime.

  From top to bottom:

  Wing

  Head or Tail

  From top to bottom:

  Head

  Neck

  Hole

  How to Amble

  Hippies do not drive if they can possibly walk, or if not walk, bike, or if not bike, unicycle. So how do you know which mode of transportation is appropriate? As a general rule, if your destination is less than three miles away, walk there. If it is less than seven miles away, bike there. If your destination is farther than seven miles away, hitchhike or drive.

  Hippies do not walk anywhere fast, and they generally prefer to take a “scenic route,” walk on the sunny side of the street, stop and smell the roses, and return stray dogs to their owners. All this can end up adding quite a bit of time to one’s journey. This is one of the reasons hippies find it problematic to hold down jobs.

  AMBLING TIPS

  Walk barefoot.

  Stay on grass as much as possible.

  Invite a canine companion to accompany you, off leash.

  Notice snails, slugs, blossoms, spider webs, colors, clouds, nests, rocks, nuts, and berries.

  Jaywalk (crosswalks are oppressive).

  Beware hallucinations that might be SUVs, and SUVs that might be hallucinations.

  Play a pennywhistle.

  SUPPLIES

  Carry a backpack full of essentials: A canteen of tap water, trail mix, the I Ching, your journal, colored pencils, a Frisbee, patchouli. Remember: your backpack can be a great place to show off your colorful patches.